Trick or Treat

By Edele Winnie

“You’re going to have contact.” Marge swirled her pale hands over the crystal ball one more time. “Tomorrow.” She looked up at Loretta. “Halloween.”

Loretta’s legs began to quiver and she swallowed hard. “Thank you Marge.”

Marge smiled. She was not some artful gypsy but rather the stretch and strength exercise class instructor for the senior’s home where they both lived.

I’m going to have contact. Lortetta could not stop thinking about it at dinner that night, about her beloved husband Leroy, dead twenty-two years now. How she’d missed him. She’d been in a strange state of late- feeling isolated and alone, even though she’d lived in the senior’s home for the past seven years. She was no longer connecting with the others, staying in her room more, listening to sad music and remembering. The nurses had decided it was depression and added a little something to her daily barrel of drugs but it hadn’t changed anything. So Marge and the cane gang had decided to take matters into their own hands and cheer Loretta up. Continue reading

The Dale of Five Worlds (Part 6)

By Christian Laforet

The Siren slid towards Sam and Robi-Jo, Zack’s blood staining her lips. Even on land, the creature’s movements were fluid.

Felicia shook her head before slapping a palm against one of her ears. It did nothing, all she could hear was a dull whooshing. Looking up, she realized that her hearing troubles would have to wait, the Siren would be on her friends in seconds. She had to do something!

The light in the cave was dim, but there was enough for Felicia to spot the pistols. Zack must have dropped when he fell under the Siren’s spell. She had never fired—or held for that matter—a gun before, but she’d seen enough movies. Without a second thought, she hefted them off the ground, aimed them at the Siren and fired.

The bullets roared like cannonballs in the confines of the cave. The Siren saw the attack coming, ceased her singing and attempted to fall back into the dark water. One of the slugs went wide and ricocheted off the craggy wall. The other found a home as it slammed into the thigh of the retreating she-creature.

As soon as the music stopped, both Sam and Robi-Jo jerked before sagging to the ground.

“What?” Robi asked as she massaged her temples.

“Good question,” Sam replied rising back to her feet. “I’m guessing we were under the Siren’s spell.”

“Where did Zack,” Robi started, but stopped abruptly upon seeing his bloody remains. “Oh, never mind, he’s dead.”

“I DID IT!” Felicia whooped and hollered in triumph. “I TOTALLY SHOT THAT BITCH! I’M SO GANGSTER!”

“Why is that fool yelling?” Sam stomped towards Felicia but stopped cold when a massive form rose up out of the water behind her.

Felicia was in the middle of a series of vigorous pelvic thrusts when she finally noticed the looks of pure horror etched across her friends’ faces. She could see they were saying something, and judging by how fast their lips moved, it was something important.

“HUH?”

“There’s a huge sea monster behind you!” Robi-Jo screamed.

Still not sure what the big deal was, Felicia joined the other two girls. “YES, I DID SAVE THE DAY!”

Sam reached out, grabbed Felicia by the shoulders and spun her around.

Felicia felt her heart skip a beat. “OH MY GOD! WHY DIDN”T YOU GUYS TELL ME THERE WAS A GIANT MONSTER BEHIND ME?”

Sam eyed the beast. She had heard rumors of the Nicktopus during her travels. Legend was that the creature had once been a meat clerk at Fresh Choppers on Earth Prime, but due to black magic, had become something much more. She had always dismissed the stories as the Emperor’s propaganda. But, with black water dripping from its massive face, she knew that everything she had ever heard was true.

The Nicktopus arched up to his full height, his head nearly touching the ceiling of the cave.

“Oh great! A half-man, half-octopus just appeared.” Robi-Jo shook her head. “Well, at least we know it can’t get any worse.”

Behind them, the Siren re-emerged. Blood dribbled from her wound, her face a contorted mask of rage.

Sam glared at Robi-Jo. “Thanks for that.” Continue reading

The Fifth Monday Two – Hard On’s Curse – Part 3

By Edele Winnie

The long flight to Quebec City was torturous. Cardinal Molson, nearly eighty years old and fortified by a glass of angel semen in water, was a constant attraction on the aircraft.  Women hovered around him like flies on dead meat. Three of the male flight attendants offered to give him a tour of the private areas of the aircraft- or maybe it was their private areas in the aircraft? It required a lot of forgiving, but Molson was up to it. It also helped distract him from his travelling companion. They were flying first class so Mr. T was already over-filled on complimentary beer and little packages of crackers. He was sweating profusely- the skanky smell of beer cold filtered through a human body with a bushy layer of greasy black body hair. The cardinal was named Molson but Mr. T was Molson inside and out. He was so drunk he was eating the crackers without taking the plastic wrappers off.

When he heard the commotion near the back of the plane the cardinal suspected the flight attendants were scrapping over him. Angel semen seemed to be some kind of crazy aphrodisiac.   But this time he was wrong.

“In the name of Allah!” a bearded man shouted. “American Imperialists and crusaders will pay the price!” He had some kind of button thing in his hand, with his thumb poised ready to press.

People were screaming and swooning. Cardinal Molson heard some praying to a Christian God and that snapped him out of his reverie. He raised his right hand- he wasn’t sure why at the time- and a bolt of white light came out and zoomed towards the bomber. And then the light was gone and so was the man. People blinked and rubbed at their eyes. The trouble maker had vanished. Cardinal Molson wiped the tingly palm of his hand on his black pant leg.   Angel semen indeed.

Far below a man with a beard hit the metal roof of a snowy barn and slid off, bones smashed after a freefall from thirteen thousand feet. Fourteen year old farm girl Ashley Bloomfield looked up just in time to be crushed by the falling pulverized body, killing her instantly.   One virgin, anyway. Continue reading

Dime Store Detective – Part Seven (Conclusion)

Ben Van Dongen

The elevator doors opened onto a dim city street. Streetlights were on to compensate for the deep shadows and setting sun, which was almost gone over the horizon. Groups and couples walked down the sidewalks or hailed cabs. Thomas took a moment to look for a cab without a group of people standing around it, trying to make their claim, but they were all taken, leaving dozens of people waiting. He turn and ran, dodging pedestrians and excusing himself.

At the first intersection, he went right then darted across the street through a gap in the traffic. Horns honked at him, but he ducked left into an alley, leaving them behind.

Coming out at another street, he followed it to the next intersection, ran left through traffic again

Thomas ran along the street, next to parked cars, but he was tiring and slowed. Plodding down the sidewalk as quickly as he could, he ran into a woman who walked out of a store without looking. Continue reading

Dime Store Detective – Part Six

Ben Van Dongen

The office was quiet. It was usually quiet, but after his first case, Thomas could feel it. He sat at his desk, thinking over the events at the school, looking for what he did wrong. Letting his target get away was eating at him, but not as much as Diaz not caring.

A knock at his inner office door made him jump. He saw the shadow of Rachel in the window before she walked in.

“I brought you a cup of coffee.” Rachel walked over to the desk and gingerly put down a brimming mug.

“Do I look that pathetic?”

She put her hands on her hips. “I just trying to do something nice.”

Thomas rubbed his chin. “Sorry. It’s that phone call. I can’t shake it.” He picked up the mug and sipped. “The only thing I can come up with is Diaz knew more than he was telling me.”

“Don’t tell me you’re shocked by that?”

He waved her off. “No. They’re a big company, bound to protect their interests. But if they already knew, why did they need me?” Continue reading

Duck Duck Goose

By Edele, Winnie

She did not notice the man following her until it was too late.

She saw the duck first. Seeing a duck downtown was unusual. It was standing by a bike rack, unperturbed, as if it were waiting for someone. It looked up at Cathy as she passed. Surprised, she stopped and stared at the bird. But she was going to be late for work so she continued on. The next duck was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, unconcerned about all of the people passing. It was obviously not the same duck. It was coloured differently and had a scrunched up foot.

Cathy shook her head in disbelief. Two downtown ducks in one day? Perhaps there had been some kind of a storm that had stranded them in the city?

She did not even see the goose. It was a big Canada goose, standing quite tall and waddling along the sidewalk. She was almost at the office, where she worked as an accountant, and she was checking herself in the window of the bakery nearby. Her short brown hair was tastefully arranged and her makeup completely natural. She was wearing her blue business suit, which made her frown because she had never liked the cut of the jacket. And then the goose pinched her bum. She jumped angrily, intending to shout down whoever had dared poach her derrière but there was only the goose behind her. No one else. It had to have been the goose. Continue reading

Dime Store Detective – Part Five

By Ben Van Dongen

The door closed behind the fleeing woman and Thomas slammed into it in pursuit. He lunged forward, running right into the back of the waiting officer, pushing him. The tall man turned on Thomas, red faced and furious. He tried to get hold of Thomas, but momentum was against him. Thomas spun, ducking the reaching arms, and sprinted in the direction the guard had been looking.

At the next junction, he paused, listening for the principal’s clacking footsteps. Hearing the sound, Thomas ran after it, further into the building, back towards the records room.  He had to force the smile from his face as he ran.

The woman was fast and far enough ahead that he hadn’t caught a glimpse of her. He was determined though, and manage to follow the footsteps echoing down the empty hallways. He heard the click and slam of a door closing and traced it to a stairwell. He pulled open the door and chased the principal up the stairs. Continue reading

slasHim – Part Two

By Edle Winnie

She felt trapped. They sat at a beautiful table in an elegant dining room but she could feel the invisible bars around them. The supper was some fancy stuff but she could not taste it. Her boyfriend Morman the giraffe was a talkative animal and he and his mother kept the conversation light and constant. Oblivious. She sawed at everything with her table knife. Daddy scarface sat silent, smiling politely and staring at her. She glared back and sawed her potatoes into even smaller pebbles.

The rest of the evening was spent in banal conversation. As they were leaving Norman’s father managed to catch her alone, a strong hand on her thin arm.

“What are you going to do?” He hissed.

“What are you going to do?” She hissed back and twisted his grip away. Continue reading

The Dale of Five Worlds (Part 5)

By Christian Laforet

The Dread Rainbow Emperor moved across his throne room towards the monitors. “Report,” he demanded.

On the screen, a soldier in rainbow body armor held up a name tag. “We found this in what was left of The Sensation’s palace here on hEarth.”

The Emperor stared at the piece of plastic. “It would appear that the every present thorn in my side, Sam, has found some companions. If The Sensation has already fallen, then it’s clear that his pieces of the hEarth Dale are now in her possession.”

“What would you have us do, my lord?” The soldier asked.

The Emperor thought for a moment, before waving a hand towards his minion. “Nothing. If my suspicions are correct, then Sam and her band of rebels have found their way to Teardrop. What they don’t know, is that I’ll have a little surprise waiting for them.”

Emperor Shawn turned away from the monitor, with a flick of his wrist, the call to the soldier ended. He strode towards his mighty throne and sat down. He pressed a small button on the armrest which opened a channel to his agents on Teardrop.

“Release the Nicktopus!” The Dread Rainbow Emperor smiled as he received the confirmation of his order.

The Em-Jay rocked gently through the calm waves. Gascogne Isle loomed in the fog like a colossal ghost.

Sam, Felicia and Robi-Jo stood at the bow of the ship.

“So, that’s not too foreboding looking or anything.” Felicia chuckled nervously.

Robi leaned on the rail to get a better look at the approaching land mass. The moon bathed what was visible through the fog in silver tones. “You really think this Stephanie-Siren girl, is as scary as they say?”

“No, she’s much worse.” Captain Zack approached Continue reading

Dime Store Detective – Part Four

While walking back to the train station, Thomas called Rachel. The day was wearing into the afternoon and he figured she would be at work by then.

She answered on the third ring. “Thomas Holliday Private Investigations; how may I direct your call?”

“It’s me.” Thomas smiled hearing her nasally voice.

“Oh, well you better not have messed this case up already. You haven’t had one in months.”

“I need a warrant to access the student records.” He stopped walking, bursting with excitement. “She was actually going to throw me out!”

“I’ve already applied for the warrant, it should be in the records by now. I’ll upload it to your file and send one to the school.”

“You’re the best.”

“Don’t forget it come bonus time.” She hung up on him. Continue reading